1. During your stay-cation you and yours conduct stuffed animal weddings. You dutifully post these photos on Facebook per your child’s request. These beings are now part of your family afterall, like in-laws, they deserve a spot on your Facebook photo album for all the world to see. Thanks for the idea Ben.
2. The idea of spending $210 to send 3 kids to camp for one day sounds like a solid investment in your mental health.
3. When people ask if you had fun during your adventure/vacation/roadtrip, etc., you respond about how much fun your kids had. Code for I’m an exhausted parent, but man will my kids have some good memories.
4. Your normally sweet child tells you he hates you when you insist that he break away from Minecraft (or other video obsession) and take an actual walk in the actual world.
5. You’ve let go of your normal eating habits and gone on a kid-centric diet. Gone are the days of drinking plant-based smoothies and ginormous salads during the day followed by a reasonable dinner.
Now, ice cream for lunch has become a sound option rounded out by a swim team dinner of chips, rice krispy treats and stolen bites of cookies (acquired when your kids dip back in the pool).
Wait, wasn’t I a founding member of the Wellness Committee at my kids’ school? If they could see me now, the cafeteria lady would thoroughly enjoy my decline into the dregs of junk food offerings.
6. They come with you on errands and inflict their powers of persuasion on your wallet. Stay strong, you do not need a tortoise-shell-owl-figurine.
Good luck this summer parents!